You got what you deserved Kitchen Sink

Dear weekend of Jan 28-Jan 31 you were a shit show. We’re not sure if was the salsa dancing on Thursday, sweaty men, our BBF making an appearance (Tequila) or the cute little brown boys we met at the end of the night. Yes we say boys for good reasons!
All we can say to that is if they look like a baby face, there is a good chance that they have trains on their sheets, baby powder in their bathroom, posters taped on their wall, and mommy still does their laundry. So when we finally ask a few days later over text...”Um so how old are you”? The response is typical and it is “ I am legal”…lmao no shit kiddy you were in the bar when we met you. “Well I am turning 21 really really soon”! Thanks for letting us be cradle robbers.

Wait….maybe it was Friday night that made the weekend the deciding factor to finally create this blog. Maybe it was the guy who grabbed Mavies shirt, spit (literally) all over her, while saying these oh so great words that all of us love to hear… “ I wanna FUCK You”. Wow now if that does not get your panties wet, I really do not know what else would. Then he continued to slur and spit all over the bar and pick fights with friends that were with us. I think what made the night was when the LUSH decided to buy two shots of sour jacks. Looks away for um about 15 seconds and Goosie (me) decided a fuck it I am kinda thirsty, grabs both of the shots, shoots them off the bar one and then the other. The look on his drunk ass face when both shots were just GONE and the bartender says um $14.50 please…..priceless.

Wait….it was Saturday that made us decide to write this blog. That was it…the kitchen sink. I remember now. Saturday started with a harmless, “I am staying in and playing poker with some girls night”. Ya well that faded by 9:00 pm and the night finished with drinking at two different restaurants, closing down OTR and ending up a “cute” little place downtown. Hahahahah ok so Mav and I are stoked up and LOSER drunk ready to be going to this place referred to as the “JAM SPACE”! It was this shit, condemned hole in the wall behind Grant MacEwan. Shaddy as a mother truck, but hey were drunk let’s do it (That’s what she said). To walk into a building with spray paint on the walls, broken stairs, the shadiest bathroom and the room where they “JAM” in….omg are you fackin kidding me. It has one drum set, a microphone and a bed……OK….Um I think it is time to go….wait though our friend Alize showed up to the party,! Let’s give this place a second chance, what is the worst that can happen?? Herpes, Warts….probably not but hey everyone likes a gift that keeps on giving right? NAT (Said in a BORAT voice). Well 4 am rolls around A Squared are now seeing doubles and decided it is time to go home. Mav goes and passes out and well me….I am now two sheets to the wind, the room is spinning and for some reason I have managed to half undress myself. When suddenly….it happens…. You know it! I am gonna get sick. I run to Mav’s bathroom and happily surprised to see the light on. Look down and there is my little Mavie passed out on the floor. Now the thoughts running through my head “are it’s do or don’t time Goosie, pull it together, be a MAN do the right thing, will she wake up if I do it or make it somewhere else…..Yes I know where…. The kitchen sink!” Why? Why? Why? What did that Kitchen Sink ever do to me, that I felt the need to violate it this way.
Anyways….Moral of the BLOG…. Why use your own personal ensuite bathroom, when the kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes anyways.
Till next time!